A Jolt into the Reality

I know I have abandoned writing almost for 5 months now and it is not acceptable to leave something abruptly.
The last five months have been crazy with long hours of work and no time to eat or sleep. Now as things are slowing down I have come to realize how much has happened in the past few months. This is a real jolt back into reality.
For starters I am getting married. Yay !!! But again the truth is I am freaking out even though I am getting married to someone I have known for years.
I know that not much is going to change after we get married, yet, the thought that I am getting married is somewhat scary.
So here I am ready to start a new phase of life !!! Let's see where it takes me.

Celebrating Life with a beautiful picture. Courtesy S.

What I have and what I don't !!!!

People always say count your blessings and I am the one who counts mine twice :)

But I will start with list of what I don't have and probably the list of haves will make me feel better...

What I think I wish I had in life :

1. Friends - true friends
2. Close girl friends - the bonding between girls is unique... It's sisterly yet fun
I have my sister who is my best friend but alas I am her sister and I go into the elder sister mode more often than she or I would like it...

3. Spontaneity - I try to be spontaneous but it's nothing big... I want to be able to explore the world
Everyday should be a new adventure

4. Determination - something I am working on changing... Got to be more determined and self motivated to make something of my life

5. Fearlessness - I try very hard not to care about what people around me think but alas somewhere deep within myself is a fear of being judged... Fear of being talked about... But I should say I have become better at concealing this fear from the world but people who know me see right through it... And it is this fear that hold me back ... Doesn't let me experiment with life ....

List of my blessing to follow in next post ....since it is long :)

DWI (Drivng With Influence) === DWI (Dying With Intent)

Can't believe that people  cannot make the decent choices about themselves at the age of 25yrs?

This is the age when you are not only supposed to be responsible about yourself but old enough to be a parent. Old enough to care and think about aging parents and younger siblings.

Today I heard the news that someone I knew was driving under influence and this led to his friend being killed in a car crash and he being charged with manslaughter.

This all happened while driving home from celebrating the 25th Birthday of the guy who died.

I had been so angry several times because I was the Designated Driver and no one cared that I was tired and wanted to turn in for the night. But I am so glad I did take it upon myself to drive people safely home after the parties. If I refused to drive and they went around driving and killed themselves or others I would have never forgiven myself.

Hopefully people who think they can be under total control even when under influence realize that they are not only putting themselves in danger bur also people around them. They have no right to risk their own life let alone other's.

What has the world come to? Where someone has to die for people to realize their stupidity.

Human life is invaluable. You beat all the odds to be in the world. Don’t expect to beat all odd and be lucky forever. 

I am pained at the stupidity that can get others killed.

Few Tips::::

1. Decide on who would be the designated driver.

2. Buy the Designated Driver few non-alcoholic drinks.
3. Be respectful of Designated Driver.
4. The Designated Driver should confiscate the car keys at the beginning of the party

5. No matter how unreasonable or reasonable the drunk person is, no matter how rude they are, no matter how heartbroken they are that you don’t trust them, no matter how sober they look never let the person who had drinks drive. Even if it threatens your friendship/ relationship.

6. If someone who is drunk refuses to get into a car, threaten to call the police and if need be call the cops and let them be taken into custody to sleep it off. At least they will be alive after they are awake.

Quality of Life !!!

Quality of life : It is the term used to evaluate the general well-being of individuals and societies.
The term "Quality of life" is often confused with the "standards of living".

Why am I suddenly so concerned about quality of life???
Well for you to understand that let me give you some background information.
I am from India and I came here to for my graduate studies. I also want to give my professional credentials a boost so I want to work here for a year or two before I move back to India.
Most the people I meet here from India, would say that they want to go back to India but after a few years and according to the r2i forums the year a person returns back to India is (X+1) where X being the current year usually.
Well this blog entry here today is not about r2i, though I will write about it in near future.

So I have a whole lot of extended family members who have come to the US of A, anticipating that they would eventually move back but ended up settling down here. Everyone comes here for their Graduate studies then want to get some job experience, meanwhile they get married and its time to pop out babies. When they start planning their kids, their whole life flashes in front of their eyes. They forget everything, the happy childhood surrounded by family, playing in the galli (streets), waiting to watch English movies, trying to understand the American accent. All they remember is the planning to go to the US, cramming up words for GRE verbal, dreading the TOEFL speaking section, putting all financials together for Visa Interview and realizing how much their parents worked hard, vowing to earn money in the land of opportunity to make sure parents are comfortable, standing outside the consulate in a line waiting for your turn for visa, getting to the US, waiting in the immigration line at the port of entry and then they wonder if they should put their kids through everything they went through. Then at that point decide that they want their kids to have a US citizenship. During this period we go from F1 visa to OPT , OPT to OPT extension , then H1B, Green Card, US citizenship.

So like I said before I have lot of extended family members staying in the US for long time now.
Recently when I was talking to a relative who had returned from a three-week annual vacation from India, I asked him "How is Madras?". This question of mine was filled wit h nostalgia since I had not been home for more than a year and half and I miss home. The answer I get is, "The place is a dump. I don't know how people live there? It rained only a few inches but the roads were flooded, sewage mixed with rain water flowed on two the roads. But, people were not concerned they just walked through it. The government doesn't do anything even if it has money. Everyone is corrupt and no one cares. There is no Quality of Life."

His words got me thinking about what exactly is Quality of Life? Do standards of living define quality of life? According to Derek Gregory and his colleagues in "Quality of Life" Dictionary of Human Geography, " Quality of life should not be confused with the concept of standards of living, which are primarily based on income. Instead, standard indicators of the quality of life include not only wealth and employment but also the built environment, physical and mental health, education, recreation and leisure time and social belonging. "
What one should understand is that there would never be a sense of social belonging if you travel half the way across the world and try to embrace the cultures of a country you barely understand.

I think no matter where you are the quality of life improves drastically if you have your loved ones close enough to share both you fortunes and misfortunes. By close enough I mean on any "crappy day" I should be able to call and say,  "Hey I am coming over today or now. I need some TLC (Tender Loving Care)". Or on any exceptionally bright day, go over and have a party to celebrate love and life.

I don't know why this post is taking this long for me to write. I guess I will have to revisit the concept of "Quality of Life". I am missing the coherency of thought and it is spoiling the "Quality of the Post"

Signing off
M  

Introduction or Introspection !!!!

Hi everyone !!!

I realised I kind of started this blog without introducing myself properly.

Okay. I am a 20-something year old female. I am a graduate with a masters degree in Engineering and background in life sciences. I am an international residing in the Land of Opportunity. I came here as an international students three years ago.
I love reading and listening to different kinds of music. When I say different kinds of music I may not always know the specific genre they belong to. But I enjoy it anyway.
I read... Books were the only way to escape the reality as a child. I don't  mean that I had a unhappy childhood or something. I am lucky to be born into a close-knit family. I am the oldest child. I have a younger sister. I had few friends as a child. But I must say I went through a phase as a teenager  when I was not as social as I should have liked to be and then the books were my saviours. I would curl up with a book and did not have to go outdoors to play. But I am glad I read books. The book I am currently reading is "Super Cooperators" by Martin A.Nowak.

Now I am  an extrovert individual who has a decent social life. I would not say I am a party animal. But I know how to let my hair down and have fun every now and then. But I strongly believe work while you work and play while you play.
I love surrounded by people but like some quiet "me" time.
I come from a family where values and principles are given the utmost value.
I am in a committed relationship of 6 years. I met my boyfriend "SK" in college.

I guess I have introduced myself enough...

Control Freaks !!!

Today my post is on various incidents that point out to the most powerful feeling in human nature.
The Power of Control.
Human beings of all ages and all walks of life would like to exert a control on people around them.
A toddler tries to throw tantrums to get his way. Parents try to use parental power to get their way. As a child grows up he learns that control is what gives him* power. When he* goes to school, he will try to get as many people to like him* leading to the fight for popularity. As a child grows into a teenager, the only way he thinks he* has control is by not agreeing to the general "adult world". (The teens don't realise that the discipline that the parents are trying to teach them is actually the lessons of power and control over their life).
Then the child grows into an adult, tries to make friends with popular people. The fight for popularity as a child may seem ridiculous but unconciously they would still be doing the same. As adult they realise "Oh Maybe I can't be popular but hey how about being friends with influencial people. That will work out better than have no power"
Then the grown-up suddenly finds himself* all grown-up, in a position where he can have the control that he has been striving for since a kid, so tries to wield control over people around him. Those people include subordinates at work, timid friends, girlfriends/boyfriends, spouses.. And the list continues including his* children.

* the word him/his/himself/he all refer to human beings in general and no gender bias intended.

Today morning as I woke up I clearly remembered my dream from the previous night. It was more of a nightmare than a dream. I was a teenager  again and I had this chemistry test. I was well prepared for the test. After the test I was hanging out with a few of my friends. Even though I did extremely well I had doubts about my performance with respect to my friends'. So this is a classic example of the control my friends had over me. Even after 10 years, even in my dreams, I let them have control over me.

Just to clear up any pre-concieved notions you may have. I am a well-adjusted 20-something women, extremely happy with the life I lead. I am a confident person (not to brag about myself), some people have even described me as a "strong intimidating personality". I have never attributed those adjectives to myself ever and was pleasantly shocked.

As I was talking to my sister, "G",  today about one of the people we know, we discussed how friends should not be controlling over our lives. As a matter of fact no one should have a control over our life. Some people take the friendliness to the next level and think they can rule our lives.

The only reason that we both do not confront friends with such a behavior is that we know that they are good people at their hearts but extremely possessive. In the attempt to not hurt their feelings we end up getting hurt ourselves. 

I told her even though I would have acted the same way as she was (not being confrontational), she should get hold of her life and live it on her own terms. Because if she does not then it goes against her own principles and values that she hold so dear. 

So there is always someone trying to control you... Break Free...... Soar High... Don't give another human being the satisfaction of having control over you...  

FYI : I have been called a control freak by a couple of people in my life... including my sister and boyfriend :)
No offense taken, I know what you guys meant and I know you love me !!!

Beginning of a Journey

You must be wondering why I named this post as "Beginning of a Journey". Even though every other person in the world seems to be blogging, my blog I think would be narration of my life and thus a journey of story telling. Story of the World as I see Through my Eyes.
I am in the habit of diary writing but has been a while since I wrote entries into the diary but when I look back and read my entries, I can feel what I had felt that particular day or moment. The ability to do so is both powerful and liberating.
When I think about people who suffer from dementia and other diseases like Alzheimer's I feel sorry about their inability to remember their wonderful life. 
If ever I do suffer from such ailments I would want to remember what a beautiful and fulfilling life I had lived... So here I begin the Journey...