Today my post is on various incidents that point out to the most powerful feeling in human nature.
The Power of Control.
Human beings of all ages and all walks of life would like to exert a control on people around them.
A toddler tries to throw tantrums to get his way. Parents try to use parental power to get their way. As a child grows up he learns that control is what gives him* power. When he* goes to school, he will try to get as many people to like him* leading to the fight for popularity. As a child grows into a teenager, the only way he thinks he* has control is by not agreeing to the general "adult world". (The teens don't realise that the discipline that the parents are trying to teach them is actually the lessons of power and control over their life).
Then the child grows into an adult, tries to make friends with popular people. The fight for popularity as a child may seem ridiculous but unconciously they would still be doing the same. As adult they realise "Oh Maybe I can't be popular but hey how about being friends with influencial people. That will work out better than have no power"
Then the grown-up suddenly finds himself* all grown-up, in a position where he can have the control that he has been striving for since a kid, so tries to wield control over people around him. Those people include subordinates at work, timid friends, girlfriends/boyfriends, spouses.. And the list continues including his* children.
* the word him/his/himself/he all refer to human beings in general and no gender bias intended.
Today morning as I woke up I clearly remembered my dream from the previous night. It was more of a nightmare than a dream. I was a teenager again and I had this chemistry test. I was well prepared for the test. After the test I was hanging out with a few of my friends. Even though I did extremely well I had doubts about my performance with respect to my friends'. So this is a classic example of the control my friends had over me. Even after 10 years, even in my dreams, I let them have control over me.
Just to clear up any pre-concieved notions you may have. I am a well-adjusted 20-something women, extremely happy with the life I lead. I am a confident person (not to brag about myself), some people have even described me as a "strong intimidating personality". I have never attributed those adjectives to myself ever and was pleasantly shocked.
As I was talking to my sister, "G", today about one of the people we know, we discussed how friends should not be controlling over our lives. As a matter of fact no one should have a control over our life. Some people take the friendliness to the next level and think they can rule our lives.
The only reason that we both do not confront friends with such a behavior is that we know that they are good people at their hearts but extremely possessive. In the attempt to not hurt their feelings we end up getting hurt ourselves.
I told her even though I would have acted the same way as she was (not being confrontational), she should get hold of her life and live it on her own terms. Because if she does not then it goes against her own principles and values that she hold so dear.
So there is always someone trying to control you... Break Free...... Soar High... Don't give another human being the satisfaction of having control over you...
FYI : I have been called a control freak by a couple of people in my life... including my sister and boyfriend :)
No offense taken, I know what you guys meant and I know you love me !!!
